pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
