Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
