i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
