No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
