Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
