do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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