Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
