you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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