508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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