ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
