I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
