Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
