the condom got lost in my hair
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
