I bet he comes in French.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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