1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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