She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
