hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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