She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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