we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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