kristin has been a bad kristin
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
