Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
