Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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