pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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