You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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