i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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