turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
