Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
