I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
