so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
