I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
