Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
