plz talk dirty to me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
