I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
