But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
