You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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