I think my fart just growled at me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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