I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
