when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize