So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
