We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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