i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
