I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've blown a few things in my day
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
