this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
