I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
