It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
