i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
