i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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