1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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