is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
