Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
