I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
